Sunday, December 26, 2010

Confession of a coward

It's year end and i need to tell you.

Dear Aunt,

Sorry i don't have the guts to meet up with you, still. I have been missing you all this while and wishing you well. You have been very kind to me..sometimes i feel like you care about me like a mother. We have not met...for more than a year now?

I do not know what we should talk about if we met. I have always told myself i will meet you when i'm in my best condition but the fact is i have never felt ready. The guilt is holding me back from seeing you. Very often i'm wondering how you are doing and if you're still the happy mother i once know.

I respect you and i will meet you very soon. I want you to meet me when i'm a better person.

I miss you.

2 comments:

Mareg said...

Mm...No offense but I was just thinking...when we always think we want to be better person before we meet the person we cared for, but is this their expectation? Sometime the person that we loved would be so glad just to be able to see us and talk with us. I always think that being able to show them the good and bad part of ourselves are the kind of meaning that we truly care for them, to let them know about our life. I believe if you have always hear "I'm fine" from one person, sooner or later you will have doubt about it that is he/she really "fine" :)

Beside that, it is a good thought to be better person before we meet the person that we loved. But it is not about one or two day thing to become better, as time dragging on the meeting will be postponed and the possibility about expectation has changed also higher.

Just my 2cent. Wish you all the best and hopefully you're able to meet up with your aunt sooner :)

greencollide said...

Hey Mareg,
Surprised to know you're reading my blog. I haven't sign in for a while due to the busy schedule...i do agree on your thoughts about the meeting. But still too coward to make the first move.