Say NO to the letter P

Have once again fall back in to the procrastination mode....with all the plans in my head and no action (or whatsoever) execution on hands. Dang.

I am like this whenever i'm overwhelmed by too many tasks/activities. It's time for a come back, seriously. The first step perhaps is to learn to say NO to new assignments before the old ones are completed. Secondly i gotta have to must rest more. I have tried(yeah no kidding) and definitely am more focus on work during daytime.

So far...only manage to come up with these two. Baby steps but better than nothing right?

I do not want to feel 心虚 anymore. Not in this life.

Hi my deserted blog, i'll be back to give you a pat, wait for me.

谁对谁错？

有时候真的觉得争执是无谓的，浪费脑细胞的。

两方面都各执一词， 都认为自己是对的，

赢了又能怎样？

说尽最难听的话

说服朋友们站在你这一边

又很得意吗？

纯属个人意见：

真相不是任何一人说了算

沉默了这些年

本来我也很火大, 一直向朋友诉苦

但话说多了也觉得不好

有人认同 也自然有人质疑

我想

日久见人心

这句话老套得来

非常实用

你

继续维护你的真相吧

我

安守本分准没错

Music and Awkward

Have i mentioned how i love my music at times?

It doesn't happen too often but when the mood hits, i'll plug in the earphones and blast the volume, just nice that it isolates any foreign noise.

When that happens, everything/everyone just slows down. I especially like it when i'm surrounded by people, take it in a mall or while stepping into the office. Sam will be in the zone in her own world observing people from the looking glass.

Say Viva La Vida is playing, the vibe is gonna be so contradicting to the environment in the office, i just.. enjoy contradiction as such. The hair on the back of my neck stands, the heart beats slower than usual and footsteps are easy.

I'm in you're out. My space.

Perhaps in the back of my mind i'm trying to isolate myself from this world, enduring simple elation for being just, different. (Awkward too!) Incredulous to you maybe but i have always known by heart i am special. It can't be put into words nor it's tangible the way me being special. But growing up believing that is awesome. Lolz.

It's ok if you don't have a clue what the hell i'm talking about. I'm suppose to write stuff that only make sense to me here,

NO?

Crazy For You

I think it's the hormone. I haven't felt so low since the epic FB acc deletion.

I was driving home from work the other day stuck in the notorious Friday traffic, not feeling too frustrated, surprisingly. Ipod randomly picked Adele's Crazy For You for a slow evening,

Lately with this state I'm in I can't help myself but spin.

I wish you'd come over,

send me spinning closer to you

I wish someone would make me feel like that again. Crazy. Head over heels sorta crazy. It has been nothing but occasion heart race (non-health related) two years down the road. Nothing permanent.

Rendezvous with Mr.Cocky last week kinda bring down my self-esteem just a lil more. Maybe how he is now and where i am now makes the distance even greater. Not that i am not thrilled to see you but that sms still kinda harsh lol. Hugs i'm glad you're doing great. P/S: you still owe me you know what. >_<

Cluttering

Things you own defines your personality

Well,

I clutter.

unfortunately, that doesn't end at my cubicle. *gloomy*

Mochacinno

A good cup of coffee is all i need to start a brand new day.

*Still throwing punches

=)

Feelings.

It's too overwhelming to put thoughts into words

plus the wrong choice of words just lead to more fueled situation

it's bad as it is

So see for yourself

If you feel what i feel

*This were made out of a gift paper bag. Posting this up in a raw(simplest) form

cause it's the truest feeling from blog owner*

Breakfast

Hey hey look at my breakfast, makes you sluuuuuurp isn' it?

I cook that!! Me Me!

Erm well actually not much cooking done here XD

*Fresh Vege with fried omega egg and chicken breast with black pepper seasoning*

WAR

I am hereby declaring WAR!!! A war of what? A war against?

A war every single women have at least declared once, if not more in their life -

I WANT TO LOOSE SOME LBs!!!

During time of war, we need weapon - a durable wok!

(Newly purchased from Jusco to cook up some magic)

Then we need something "extra" - EXTRA Virgin Olive Oil

Finally my soldiers - Vegessss (I go for organic this tmie)

With all these, imma win the war single-handedly!

不妥协

不喜欢就是不喜欢。不妥协。

Small steps

Off to work

.

Going off work

.

Studio training

.

Groceries shopping

.

Walking home

.

Small steps in this tremendous journey

Done

I deleted you. (and her) I think it's a progress, after two fucking years wtf. I may curse all i want because it's two bloody years of BITTER BITTER BITTER of my precious time in life.

Give me my health back.

Period.

Discovery

At times when you least expected

You discover details you overlooked in the past

I found this writing at the back of a card

when it fell off from my bag today

(after years i've received it)

Hey

The pleasure is mine

SAM

This is official. *grinz* Even mum knows it.

She's cool about it which kinda surprised me,

well i thought she'll at least throw a tantrum about it.

You need to know the reason behind every action you plan

The meaning of doing so

If any part of the action doesn't comes from your heart

drop it

For i am worth it

For i am genuine

For i am what my history shapes

For i am what my future behold

For i am full of faith

I am.

Random

There could be two reasons why you are still in my Facebook friend list:

1. I don't give a damn

2. I do give a damn

The act of hesitation sadden my night.

Dance and Brain

I'm so tired i can feel my saggy eye bag growing irreversibly. Between slumber and have a little ME time, here i am.

Just came back from a street dance competition at Kulim which we have won the place of 2nd runner up. Then of course followed by deadly supper we love to hate. Sigh. I love my food. Also means no guys will ever be attracted to this eating monster....*facepalm*

Dancing is so, confusing sometimes. Rather than practicing blindly, a good dancer needs a direction. Direction can come from your coach, other dancers who may have inspired you, a piece of art...etc. I find myself trembling around different directions the surroundings have fed to me probably it's good to shut them out once in a while and look within.

I know i prefer being a versatile dancer over being recognized in one particular style.

I know dance is NOT my life (are you kidding? What about relationships and knowledge?)

I know dancing makes me feel good

I hold on to these belief and move on.

Jason Mraz - Up!

What happens when your light goes out

No ones there to give you mouth to mouth

Don't let the break down trouble you and claim that a brother need's a hero now

Cause I know, you know, because once you know, you'll always know

It's your own, your own, your own love that gets you where you wanna go

We're going up
We're flying away
We're taking the higher route
We're taking the ceiling out
We're going up
We're flying away
Never coming down
Because we're living it up, living it up

Accessories Haul!

Come to think of it, i never post a haul entry before. First of all i'm never a fashionable person (or fashionable enough), secondly i just don't have that kinda money to constantly update my wardrobe with the current trendy item.

Recently i have this deadly attraction to accessories. Well when you don't have the guts to spend big on clothes, you go small on bits and pieces that work just as well to spice up your style!

Bangles are my kryptonite...look at the pictures!

Newest purchase. Metallic gold bangles perfect for my new fond vintage look =)

Bangles ready to rock =) It's a must whenever i need to add a lil attitude

Red beads. Love the red.

Multi-color beads.

Earrings have gone from small to big to HUGE (especially with my current short hair look)

Small and simple when i feel(need/act? XD) elegant

Vintage earrings my newest love! (2 for RM10~)

Magenta is not really my kinda color but sometimes you need that splash of color in a mundane look =)

Humongous earrings for my short hair XD

Rings!! Blogger have short chubby fingers hence very little possession of rings. However these tiny little things are just too cute to not bring home! And you know what, 2 for RM5! (I started to regret those i didn't buy...)

Not too much necklace as well...as blogger have sensitive skin that reacts badly to fake silver/gold.

Love is

Grounded

Trust worthy

Real

Unreal

Comfortable

Certain

Undeniable

Elating

If you found love, love it, sustain it, keep it, hold on to it, appreciate it

Don't. lose. it.

Just a thought

If we were out together say in a cafe/book shop with own agendas and burrowing deep in our world, i'll let you be, undisturbed. I don't enjoy too much attention(distraction?), you know if i straighten my back after long hours of sitting and you ask "Are you ok?" or even if it's just that concern stares, i loathe it. That's just a little too much don't you think so? It's as if i'm being stalked or something.

I am saying this is depending on the purpose of hanging out. If we are suppose to catch up on each other's life then yes communicating is fine. Not when i'm with my laptop you with your book that kinda hangout.

Well...i'm just saying XD

Word of the Day

Introspection :-

Contemplation of one's own thoughts, feelings, and sensations; self-examination.

I guess it just mean that no matter what shit happens,

HANG ON THERE WITH A SMILE

喜欢一个人，会卑微到尘埃里，然后开出花来。-- 张爱玲

Beyond Repair

I am broken this way

偶爱按摩！

偶爱按摩~！*败家败家* 偶最爱按摩！
话说刚才练舞完毕去了Starbucks继续做工
一边喝本周推荐的Cocoa Cappuccino *超爱*
一边心痒痒要去按摩脚（本人比较爱全身按摩，但没钱。。。）
要知道跳舞常常弄得全身肌肉酸痛 就算坐着的时候感觉上也好像在踮脚一样 *哭泣* T_T
不管啦~~~

我常去养生堂因为贪方便，它就在studio隔壁街而已嘛。。 虽稍嫌贵了些，但本人懒惰大过天！ *汗颜*
通常会是练舞前去，不过今天就迟了些，都晚上十点了。（网站说明营业时间从下午12点到凌晨12点。。。但店员亲口对我说过开到凌晨2点。。。那。。两小时的差异。。。不会是专给“特别服务“吧。XD）
这次还是上一回的男按摩师，噢对了养生堂里的都是中国员工， 有时候还真不习惯那腔调。”姑娘呀~您的身材好结实呐“ 我的妈呀 =______=
本人比较不喜欢男按摩师， 一来怎么说男按摩女都怪怪的。 二来他们以为女生怕疼，都不敢用力按。
一整天下来已经好累，想说吩咐他用劲一些，怎么知道他死命按，痛到！！！而且变化不大，按来按去还是同样手势。。这个淘汰！（所以说一定要有相熟的按摩师。。。） 但偶实在是累坏了，结果还是半途睡死去。
80分钟的疗程收费RM50， 包括头，颈，脚(重点)，环境设备干净齐全，我是很推荐啦 =）

养生堂Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=122614411161

The World in My Head

I loath the fact that i cannot turn all ideas into reality, at least not the way i want them to be.

There is so many times when i'm so inspired by a song and started choreographing in my head (I still have a 9-5 job), it feels almost heaven and hopeful. I love new style that has a hint of contemporary,dance that tells stories. If you want to know what i'm talking about check out Choreo Cookies below, they are my ultimate favorite as of now:

http://www.myvido1.com/wY5FDaaNDbS5kbsB1YXlUP_keone-madrid-mari-martin-vinh-nguyen

P/S : I'm sooooo happy that Keone and Mariel Martin are officially engaged! (I stalked them at FB so often that i felt like a personal friend to them LOL)

The choreography that molds in my head is usually more like a concept rather than very specific details. I might have steps to be placed on certain point of a song but they are like, vague.
Then the frustrating part comes

I do not necessarily have the skill to dance to the song the way i want to
I do not necessarily have sufficient number of dancers to do the formation
The idea might not turn out the way i want it to be or worse, it DIED before i finish choreographing

Sobssssssssssssssssssssssss

I do not plan to become a famous dancer. I want to be IN the song and express.
When i love a song i wish i can show you the world i see in it.

One more mile

When it gets too tired that i fell asleep while driving back home

i ask myself if all this worth the hassle

what if my journey ends crashing into cars

what if i end other's journey

everyday

i

struggle for one more mile

Mindfulness Speaking

透过说话把别人

看在眼里,放在心上

我的答案是

不会为了增加恋爱机会而不忠于自己

love hanging out with ma best friends

一个人的脚步并没有什么不好

今天

就花俏些吧

Ready to serve.

My favorite day.

My favorite day.

Levitation

DC posted a link of photography diary in our group page, is all about levitation. =)

(http://yowayowacamera.com/)

SHE

She went for a stroll in the car. Speed through the winding road regardless the low petrol indicator. She was making clumsy turning through each corner as it has been a while since the notorious bad mood strikes.

Yes she only comes here when everything feels wrong again.

It is her believe that the more you fear about something the closer you should get to it.

Face the fear they say.....my ass.

The same CD the same track

Eyes were locked to the front but sees the past. Only when the car gets too near to the rock beside the road her mind came back and tilt the steering. Close call.

Memory flashes, not really in sequence, more like bits and pieces of faces and emotions..and the teary eyes. Suddenly she feel sick maybe vomit like that very night when she said goodbye.

Goodbye.

It's time to throw away that bloody The Script CD and get maybe...Lykke Li instead.

Sucking it up

Just get off from Skype with Kaysen. We argued for a while about dance as usual...then we move on to mundane things in life. Not much update but i'm glad i have someone to practice my english with. *well...*

Don't feel like sleeping yet so i read his blog. There was this short story he wrote that has an ending that touches my heart,

"Sometimes the world has a very mean way of bringing two people together. As one lives on with their life uninterrupted, the other suffers in silent."

You know what, soon you will know it's not worth the grief for someone who doesn't even bother.

Pray

I want to do a million things,

Read my books.

Edit photos.

Pray for the Japan earthquake victims.

I am vulnerable to any news on the earthquake, i cried everytime i watch the news or read an article about it. I hope everyone is safe.

Let's pray, in my own way.

Enabling

I am friendly by nature. Don't abuse that, don't.

I WILL BITE WHEN I NEED TO

One More Electronic Device

My new Toshiba! *melted with love* Now there is a laptop for my creativity burst! Love it love it love it. Please anticipate more artwork from now on.

PEACE OUT!

That's it?

*Uh-hem* apologize for the absence here.

Expenses went sky-high this month with several workshops and jazz exam. Good god i am so broke! Can't wait for the day when all these spending turns into intangible personal improvement. =)

Was feeling a lil lost just now and thank god i went online because then i read Jason Mraz's latest blog - Word F (http://freshnessfactorfivethousand.blogspot.com/2011/02/wtf.html), quoting the first paragraph:

I wasn’t raised on the streets, but I’ve spent enough time in shadowy circles to acquire a taste for the F word. In songs like 10,000 Motherf_ckers,Collapsible Plans, and the most recent live addition You F_ckin’ Did It, the word f_uck finds its way into the melody, intending to mean both urgency and comedy, the latter comforting the former – like a dentist giving you laughing gas before the root canal.

Crack you up didn't he? Lolz. I have always appreciate humor as such...if only there's a true match in real life. Better yet if you can make the music a lil tongue-tight with the guitar.

Imma dream about my dreamboat now. Night peeps.

Age Appropriate This & That

Everyone wishes they'll live up to their age, reputation, expectation. I surely do too but hey i did something stupid again. I am so embarrassed i feel like i should change my identity card to indicate i am only age 13. Wait, 8 maybe.

I have to try harder, like way harder to set things right.

Must i fall into that well of pain again to find my way out? Is that the only way?

Am i too complicated for most you out there?

Now i have YOU at the back of my neck. Please remind me of the once passionate, curious, hopeful self. I do miss her.

Ranting

"It fucking hurts no matter what i do."

I wanted to post this up in facebook but argh with my boss and students, younger kids friends in the list, i wouldn't want to be pointed as the bad influence..

Why am i not healed after all this time? I'm empty like an old-abandoned house.

I'm not even bothered to explain further how i feel now.

Be it be it, tomorrow i'll find a living person to rant about rather than doing it...here.

Gossips

Sometimes you need to know when to stop.

Once is funny, second and third is acceptable...anything onwards just shows that you're a very inconsiderate person.

Just decided to add this into my new year resolution list - i must reduce/avoid bad mouthing people in anyway. (jokes, comments...etc)

It is in everyone's blood to gossip, it should also be in every bit of our will power to resist it. Every minute spent gossiping about others are time you wasted in your life.

I feel bad for the people i have gossiped in 2010.