Are you LISTENING?

Compares to not communicating at all, i sincerely think it is ruder when you talk to a person but not listening  to what he/she has to say.

Me : Hey i was dancing for this charity event and have been training so hard for it. I felt like we're really making a difference for the society.

Friend : Oh that's great! I was doing this and that for the weekend...bla bla bla...bla bla bla...so what is it all about on the dance thingy that you spent time on? It must be fun being you so happening all the while!

Me : *Note to self : never engage in a serious conversation with this person again*

It does not necessary has to be a serious topic it can goes down to as little thing as repeating the question after someone had answered it previously. It obviously shows that you're not engaging at all into the conversation you're having. Can it be any ruder and inconsiderate? 

I know how i feel:

Ignored

Offended

Sad

Beautiful come back of a procrastinator

Hey check out the date of the last post in this blog - MONDAY, MAY 28, 2012.

WAIT WHAT WHOSE BLOG IS THIS AGAIN??

Ok me. Yes me. Hi i am sam i am a procrastinator.

Part of the many reasons why this blog has been deserted is because i started to write diary again. (Besides being lazy i've admitted that leave me alone!) You know actual writing on real paper that you can hold in your hands. I must admit writing on a blog is way easier because you can press delete button and redo whatever and post pics with just few clicks etc. However i find it too often that my thoughts here are constrained due to concerns of the readers. This is where diary comes in i can write all those "if i tell you i'll have to kill you" secrets in it.

Check out not the basket, not the brown sugar but my red divine diary.

The small checkerbox my favorite kind of paper to write/doodle in. 

Bought some really cute stickers but decided it's NOT MY STYLE after all. Never. WAY TOO CUTE FOR SAM! What is sam's style? Pages and pages of never-ending writing wth.  

(Cute doggie but i'm totally grossed out.)

So now you know how my diary looks like.

Having no time for myself too kills the blog indirectly. Sunday and Monday is the only free time i have in a week. (no training, no jazz class, not kids class, no contemporary class, not aerobics) Add up to that i have a boyfie - who puts up with my crazy schedule so in return i accompany him whenever the free time is. Boyfie works a funny shift it started from 3 noon till 12 midnight so dinner is all we have time for each other on weekdays. Weekends are usually ok if i'm not already exhausted from weekdays activities and those scheduled on saturday. So often weekend is the killer. I swear for a couple of times all i want to do on sunday is to do NOTHING at all. But BUT all these are just ensues of the life i had chosen to live, in conclusion - MY BLOG DIED FOR A GOOD CAUSE wth ahahahahahahha.

Cleaning event!

I'm assigned to work on a rather special shift this week because Robert, a colleague from US took a week off for memorial day. I will be working from 3pm to 12am and oncall for the rest of the night. Despite the awkward hours and growing phobia over cellphones, i get to work from home! Sweet deal mother nature~

Kicked off the first oncall night yesterday with some minor work issues over the beginning and cleaning for the rest of the night! Lolz. Well i thought since i'll be spending most of the time at home better make it comfortable for myself. It started off with the work desk, which i rarely use firstly because my brother's old printer was on it and then it is adjacent to my bed so there's practically no space for a chair. Took me good few rounds of wiping before the dirt came off and revealed it's original color, white. Lolz.

Then i saw mum had clean up a wardrobe just so i can finally have space for my clothes!!! I have been wanting a wardrobe so badly because my clothes are always on the floor and it gives me itches since i'm allergic to dusts. Thus the arranging begins and finally decided to donate over half of my clothes to the charity. Now everything(almost) fits perfectly in the wooden wardrobe. *dancing* ^^

When i'm finally done with the bed sheets and wiping the floor, it's approaching 5am. Quickly took a shower and hit the sack, in my fresh, clean room.

毒誓

我珍重发誓！！如果我再唔瘦下来，我就。。。我就。。。肥死！！

Mama's Day

Happy mother's day mum. Too bad there was no photo taken during the dinner, surprised how it never cross my mind for so many years of celebration to take family photo.
Hmmm.

Thank you dear for taking the initiative to participate the dinner, i appreciate that.

A story a day

I felt the urgency to write things down when i was participating in a conversation during my college mate's wedding, and not remembering a trip we made to Kerachut a few years ago. Memory has played me good. I wouldn't want to get old but not have the memories of the years i've spent on earth.

So here it goes.

Have finally picked up a book a few days ago. I love how the weight of the book felt on my hand. Guess i have been giving too much excuses to not read for the longest time in my life.It impacts me profoundly the way i'd have never imagined. Guess this should be everyone's habit for a lifetime.
*By the way i'm reading Eat, Pray, Love at the moment.

There's a man in my life now who cares if my knee hurts from dance. A man who seemingly blur but understand  the importance of dance for me. Perhaps things are still a lil vague at this stage of the relationship but i am looking forward on the future we might share..

Life, is good at the moment.

Finally

Finally.

I've heard this word coming from different people in the last few weeks. Finally we're together they said. Lol why is it finally.

It got me thinking and...yeah, finally.

It's not easy to shake off the negative vibe from last two years to even start considering this possibility. I know it's not easy for him too, to brave himself in pursuing something that could lead to another disappointment. (Thank you, hugs.) A couple hints from myself plus a brave heart of him, yes FINALLY.

With this it doesn't mean the concrete wall i've build for the past two years collapses

Instead it become much solid and dependable

Now,

the wall is no longer the barrier between me and the outside world

It's now standing firmly behind me, providing.

He's my wall.

Say NO to the letter P

Have once again fall back in to the procrastination mode....with all the plans in my head and no action (or whatsoever) execution on hands. Dang.

I am like this whenever i'm overwhelmed by too many tasks/activities. It's time for a come back, seriously. The first step perhaps is to learn to say NO to new assignments before the old ones are completed. Secondly i gotta have to must rest more. I have tried(yeah no kidding) and definitely am more focus on work during daytime.

So far...only manage to come up with these two. Baby steps but better than nothing right?

I do not want to feel 心虚 anymore. Not in this life.

Hi my deserted blog, i'll be back to give you a pat, wait for me.

谁对谁错？

有时候真的觉得争执是无谓的，浪费脑细胞的。

两方面都各执一词， 都认为自己是对的，

赢了又能怎样？

说尽最难听的话

说服朋友们站在你这一边

又很得意吗？

纯属个人意见：

真相不是任何一人说了算

沉默了这些年

本来我也很火大, 一直向朋友诉苦

但话说多了也觉得不好

有人认同 也自然有人质疑

我想

日久见人心

这句话老套得来

非常实用

你

继续维护你的真相吧

我

安守本分准没错

Music and Awkward

Have i mentioned how i love my music at times?

It doesn't happen too often but when the mood hits, i'll plug in the earphones and blast the volume, just nice that it isolates any foreign noise.

When that happens, everything/everyone just slows down. I especially like it when i'm surrounded by people, take it in a mall or while stepping into the office. Sam will be in the zone in her own world observing people from the looking glass.

Say Viva La Vida is playing, the vibe is gonna be so contradicting to the environment in the office, i just.. enjoy contradiction as such. The hair on the back of my neck stands, the heart beats slower than usual and footsteps are easy.

I'm in you're out. My space.

Perhaps in the back of my mind i'm trying to isolate myself from this world, enduring simple elation for being just, different. (Awkward too!) Incredulous to you maybe but i have always known by heart i am special. It can't be put into words nor it's tangible the way me being special. But growing up believing that is awesome. Lolz.

It's ok if you don't have a clue what the hell i'm talking about. I'm suppose to write stuff that only make sense to me here,

NO?

Crazy For You

I think it's the hormone. I haven't felt so low since the epic FB acc deletion.

I was driving home from work the other day stuck in the notorious Friday traffic, not feeling too frustrated, surprisingly. Ipod randomly picked Adele's Crazy For You for a slow evening,

Lately with this state I'm in I can't help myself but spin.

I wish you'd come over,

send me spinning closer to you

I wish someone would make me feel like that again. Crazy. Head over heels sorta crazy. It has been nothing but occasion heart race (non-health related) two years down the road. Nothing permanent.

Rendezvous with Mr.Cocky last week kinda bring down my self-esteem just a lil more. Maybe how he is now and where i am now makes the distance even greater. Not that i am not thrilled to see you but that sms still kinda harsh lol. Hugs i'm glad you're doing great. P/S: you still owe me you know what. >_<

Cluttering

Things you own defines your personality

Well,

I clutter.

unfortunately, that doesn't end at my cubicle. *gloomy*

Mochacinno

A good cup of coffee is all i need to start a brand new day.

*Still throwing punches

=)

Feelings.

It's too overwhelming to put thoughts into words

plus the wrong choice of words just lead to more fueled situation

it's bad as it is

So see for yourself

If you feel what i feel

*This were made out of a gift paper bag. Posting this up in a raw(simplest) form

cause it's the truest feeling from blog owner*

Breakfast

Hey hey look at my breakfast, makes you sluuuuuurp isn' it?

I cook that!! Me Me!

Erm well actually not much cooking done here XD

*Fresh Vege with fried omega egg and chicken breast with black pepper seasoning*

WAR

I am hereby declaring WAR!!! A war of what? A war against?

A war every single women have at least declared once, if not more in their life -

I WANT TO LOOSE SOME LBs!!!

During time of war, we need weapon - a durable wok!

(Newly purchased from Jusco to cook up some magic)

Then we need something "extra" - EXTRA Virgin Olive Oil

Finally my soldiers - Vegessss (I go for organic this tmie)

With all these, imma win the war single-handedly!

不妥协

不喜欢就是不喜欢。不妥协。

Small steps

Off to work

.

Going off work

.

Studio training

.

Groceries shopping

.

Walking home

.

Small steps in this tremendous journey

Done

I deleted you. (and her) I think it's a progress, after two fucking years wtf. I may curse all i want because it's two bloody years of BITTER BITTER BITTER of my precious time in life.

Give me my health back.

Period.