Random

I was standing in Tesco surrounded by people
I think i had an anxiety attack
Not only i'm afraid to bump into anyone i know
i'm afraid of the strangers walking around me
as if the whole world knew what i have done
and that they agree i'm a sinner
my hands grip tighter to the bottle i'm holding
a rush of fear came from within
my body won't stop shaking
I flee from the place
thought it would be better when i get home
no, my body still won't stop shaking
my sense of self had shattered
i destroyed my confident when i made the wrong decision
for i am a worthless piece of shit
i am closing down the doors
to avoid hurting anyone else i care
for i feel like a poisonous snake
i sat for hours tried to understand my fear and ways to pick up the pieces
i got nothing
i miss him
i know it must be harder for him now
i am sorry
I remember he said sometimes we just have to DO IT
guess that's what i'll do for now
DO life