Random

The door that shut down is trying to open from within. Like an old ship water is leaking slowly and dangerously. Suppressing everything in down under beneath. Try not to bother, thinking leads to action and actions affect others. Forgive me i have to write it our here i am tired of explaining to others...i just want to talk to myself.
I can't be bothered with my guilt i can't go there or i'll be forever sucked in. Doing whatever that's right, again. So tired, i am not sure if i am up to the standard i have for myself, the things i want to achieve things i want to fix. But this is just the beginning of the redemption journey..i need courage from within. Still under the paranoid criticism on myself, it was something the incident left me with. I fight every thought of me minding what people think about me, i can't be bothered now. I have always care, not now. Doesn't mean i chose a road against the norm of life, i just need to protect myself from my emotion and move on. Be better, see?
Funny thing is now i feel silly for being dramatic previously. What for it will only annoy people. I will deal with my own issue, not expecting anything from anyone letting it be.
I need beer
I need money
I need some sleep
Night Sam